how come it hurts so bad?

why did it have to end this way? i knew it would eventually happen. but how come i didnt know it would hurt this bad. i just feel completely empty inside. there is no point to be wearing makeup. it just comes off within minutes. i wish i knew all the answers. i don't know if i ever will. im just praying that the other side is greener. even though, my best friend, the boy who i loved with all my heart, the person who i went to everything for, is gone, maybe someday i can still go to him for advice. but time will tell. i just wish all of this could disappear.