people ask you all the time, "what are your fears?"... yeah i have my fears. my typical fears. like spiders.. heights.. etc.. but it seems like after one thing happens, you realize the feeling you get, and you never want that to happen again.
if someone were to ask me that now, i know what i would say.
1. someone in my immediate family passing away.
2. getting my heart broken.
3. that i wont live my life to the fullest.
i have a lot to think about the past few months. like where is my life going? who am i going to love again? what's going to happen next?
i've had to make some of the most important decisions. school. i have so many dreams. but they seem too far to reach. people always say 'you have the universe at the tip of your fingers'. but how come the tip of my fingers are right here.. but my dreams feel so far away.
patience is eating me alive.
for awhile i felt as though i had my career planned out. that everything was meant to be. but i had to listen to the people i love the most, take their advice and experience other things. so i did. and questioning if it was the best. i guess we'll see eh?
i thought that this particular feeling wouldn't ever happen to me. no way jose. but it did. my heart got broken. thrown into a pile of dirt. and got stepped on. some people may think its ridiculous. but who knew it would hurt that bad? i sure didnt. until it happened. everyday i pray that it won't happen again. but i know that it will. life happens. people change. and we learn. it sucks to lose the person who you loved the most. the person you went to everything for.
"there has to be a little rain before a rainbow."
i remind myself of that quote everyday. don't know who it came from. a friend told it to me.
i never want that to happen again. its turning into one of my biggest fears.
yup. my blogs never make sense. its okay. they make sense to me.
No comments:
Post a Comment